Archive for the ‘Medical’ Category

Medical Verses

November 15, 2010

Check-up

 

Six a.m. alarm.

Must keep calm;

Take it steady,

To be waiting ready

For a lift for a 7.15 check-in.

(What time does NHS begin?).

7.20 sitting, waiting,

Talking, writing nervously.

“You are fourth on the list” (hopefully).

“We telephoned two days ago

Several times, but missed you.

You were out you know”.

“We left a message on your phone”.

“Sorry you had a little moan”.

“The consultant works in the morning”.

(To patients ‘privately’ conforming?)

It is the August Bank Holiday,

So extend your patience in a tolerant way.

“Please change in  here,

But have no fear,

I know it’s really a loo,

And free from bacteria too.

We need a urine sample”.

(A  litre will be ample).

If you’re in the know

Turn on the tap to increase the flow!

A swab poked up your nose

To detect MRSA I suppose.

‘We’ll check your groin for e-coli

Or a rarer broccoli bacilli’.

‘You can sit in the waiting room’:

Just feel the anxiety and the gloom;

The TV weather chattering to itself,

While we wonder about our health.

A cheerful voice ended my concern,

“No need to fret. It’s now your turn”.

I ambled obediently following the nurse,

And lay there exposed for all to see.

For medics it’s another cystoscopy.

Just pretend you’re having a wee.

“Ah there’s a tumour I can see”.

And so we face another round

Of treatment on familiar ground.

X-Rays

Just a prick in the arm

No need for concern or alarm.

We’ll inject some dye which may

Aggravate asthma, in a way,

(Not in your case let me say).

We’ll take some x-rays

While you lie dead still.

It’s one of the ways

We can check if you’re ill:

The health of your bladder,

Infections in the urethra,

Any issue with your kidney.

So we’ll just wait and see.

Don’t have too much to drink.

We don’t want you filling the sink!

Don’t ask for any explanation,

Radiographers will study their interpretation.

We’ll tell you alright

If anything comes to light.

Knowing Your Case

It pays to know

Your personal case.

It will ‘leak’ and show

In the medic’s face

She’s not scanned,

Prepared, or planned,

Making presumptions

About the medical history:

Inaccurate assumptions.

Surely this shouldn’t be?

Is it beyond professional wit

To pre-read the file a bit?

Then there’s no need to raise

The voice,(but quietly appraise).

We need your cooperation

For a stress free operation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Nurses

 

Are real physicians

Not just ‘technicians’.

They minister healing,

Know how you’re feeling.

They show warmth and empathy,

Express care and sympathy.

There is a kindness

Understanding of patient distress.

They’ve dropped the protective mask

Of ‘distance’ while performing the task.

Pain

 

“On a scale of roughly 1-10,

How’s your pain this morning, then?”

The problem is, “How can I state

If I’ve no criteria to evaluate,

Only a subjective guessing?”

I know it’s ‘stabbing’, ‘aching’,

Tear-jerking, sickening,

Radiating, gradually dissipating

After I’ve urinated

And twenty minutes have abated,

Unalleviated by paracetamol

And a mind confused by Tramadol

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